Friday, April 3, 2009

Papa...

This is me with my Grandparents at my Baptism. They were the same age in this picture that I am now - that freaks me out just a bit.

My Papa died very peacefully yesterday morning. In his own home, his own bed with much peace and dignity with loved ones by his side. He was ready I guess. We may not have been...but it's not our choice. Papa had made peace with his fate and was so ready.

I had a dream last night that he and my Grandma were sitting on the couch holding hands and watching Lawrence Welk. Weird for me, but happy for them. I hope they get to do some fishing, are enjoying their weak coffee, and win big at the Laughlin casinos. I wonder what kind of car Papa will buy this year?

Me, I am stuck in reality selfish Hell on Earth desperately wanting and needing to be at his Funeral Mass on Tuesday...sitting here holding 3 plane tickets to Florida for Sunday and desperately wanting some sunshine and a Spring Break vacation for me and the girls, while talking on the phone with the airline all night and getting nowhere except having to pay $1000++ if I want to change my tickets. I wish my Papa was here to go kick some butt for me right now.

xoxo, t

4 comments:

Kristi Pohl said...

love and hugs to you my dear friend-your Papa would want you to have the sunshine and not the sadness.

Michelle said...

yes, your Papa would tell you to go see the sun!

Heather said...

i'm so sorry. lots of love to you.

Afrocentric Mocha said...

Love you girl...I too experienced the unexpected death of my 44yr old Aunt on Wednesday. I can't begin to tell you how heartbroken I am. I'll say a prayer of both of us and pray that God provides us comfort and understanding during these difficult times...xoxox Rox

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