Eloise. Her name suits her. No, not like that little imp from the books...but in a dignified, Worldly, sophisticated beyond her years kind of way. Eloise has taught me more in the past 5 years...then the previous 34 put together. Not just because she was my 1st baby and I had no clue how to be or prepare to be a mom...but because she knows more than I do...and did at birth.
As a baby I could look into her eyes and see the worlds troubles, the worlds triumphs, her soul. Eloise is deep, introspective, sensitive, beautiful, sweet, caring, insightful, and pure. She humbles me in a good way daily.
There are many days where I don't know how to be a good mom to her - I didn't come with that deep understanding of life like she did...and I get frustrated and mad and I cry and I don't have the answers she needs.
Eloise walks into a room and takes every single detail of that room and the people in it into her soul and processes it..seriously, she knows what you are thinking, doing, what you will probably do next and will worry about it for you. She feels what I feel before I do.
I sometimes feel the need to explain Eloise to others..as she doesn't always 'do' what the other kids are doing. She is slow to warm, slow to act and slow to smile...but when she does warm, act, play, smile...it makes it all worth the wait.
I hope as she grows, she will continue to teach me how to be more understanding, kind, patient and loving. I need help sometimes as what I may view as easy may not be that easy after all.
I will never forget my Grandma's funeral 2 years ago. I think many thought I was a bit nuts to bring my 3 year old to the full Funeral Mass. Eloise sat next to my mom...her Grammy...who had just lost her mother...and as my mother cried, Eloise would reach out and hold her hand to comfort her. At the time, I really didn't know that many 3 year olds..and assumed this is just what they do...but I think that was just really and truly Eloise all summed up in one moment.
Eloise many times looks down in shyness...