No Chimichanga

I have pretty much been up for the last 48 hours.

Except for the times here and there I fall asleep sitting up, topless, holding onto Astrid sleeping momentarily while nursing.

She evidently hates Mexican food.

I am so sorry...so so so sorry baby girl.

Please forgive me.

It was when she is awake and screaming at me, and evidently unable to forgive me, that I have to go back to these pictures I took when she was 2 weeks old...and just watch her sleep.

It also makes me realize how quickly time goes and even though she is mad at me, and screaming...

...at least I have nothing to do but hold her all day...all night.

..and I need to enjoy this time I can hold her, because too soon this time will be gone.

xoxo,t

Cute as a Cupcake...

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart. ~Elisabeth Foley

I have a friend named Michelle. We met in 7th grade.

After leaving Indiana 22 years ago, I think I have seen Michelle maybe 3 times...maybe.

But my nephews play baseball with her nephew.

So, we still may hear news about each other even though we don't have the occasion to speak anymore.

I love small towns - even though I don't want to live in one.

A few days ago, a box arrived containing the cutest hat in the world for Astrid.

Michelle made it, just for Astrid.

..and because Michelle is an amazing women and very thoughtful mom - she also made and sent each of my big girls a new purse.

Thank you, Michelle...I am humbled by your gifts, talents and thoughtfulness - even after all of these years of our separate adult lives.

xoxo,t

Piercing Questions...

In case you missed it from my Mall post...Eloise got her ears pierced last Thursday.

I held her hand

..and she did smile a very big smile after it was all said and done...the worry, the anticipation, the quick pain, the beauty of her first earrings.

She chose December, her birthstone. She even told me I can borrow them sometime since we share our birthday month. I am so lucky.

I was turning 5 when I got my ears pierced and projected myself onto my firstborn girl and asked her on her 5th birthday if she would like to do the same. "No" she said..she wasn't ready.

6th birthday "no, not yet mommy...maybe when I am 7."

On Thursday as we were walking by a piercing place in the Mall, the stopped me and said "mom, I don't want to wait until I am 7, I want to get my ears pierced today before I start 1st grade"

She was ready..in her own time. Just like Ruby, in one of her favorite old preschool books.

I was so proud, she was so brave.

However, it is my understanding that some view getting your ears pierced as more of a right of passage from girl-hood - when you are 13 or 16 or even after you leave home.

Now, perhaps I won't let them get a belly piercing or they will have to wait to have tattoos like mom until college and then please not tell me about it...but ear piercing I don't see as a big deal.

But, I would love to hear from you, do your kids get their ears pierced young...old...not at all? Do you have family rules?

Where are your tattoos?(kidding - I don't really want to know)

xoxo,t

Post delayed today...

Sorry to not post what I was going to post when I posted today at my typical posting time of 5:30 AM, but there is a bat in my house and he is blocking my entry to the office computer.

Yes, a bat.

We get quite a few during the year, especially this time of year when the evenings cool down.

It is so lovely to wake-up during the night with a bat screaming and hitting the walls and a cat doing amazing air born jumps to catch the bat quite unsuccessfully. Especially after already being up all night with a baby.

I love my life.

So, I have trapped the bat in our downstairs bathroom for now, but had to close the door to the office entry also to keep the bat contained. My pictures are all saved on my office desktop computer...so no amazing post today because of the bat.

The damn bat.

We have no idea where these bats come in, but I want them out.

I am being nice and waiting until 6am to wake up Jed to get rid of the bat. I don't do bats. I am currently under my comforter with Astrid and my laptop protecting us from further bat invasions.

Do you have bats in your house? Any ideas how to make the madness stop?

xoxo,t

Gotta Love the Mall...

Either someone slipped me a Mickey in my morning coffee, or I was suffering from sleep deprivation when I decided what a great idea it was to take all 3 kids to THE Mall of American last Thursday unassisted. Yes, THE Mall of America – the largest and finest mall in the good ol’ US of A…and during back to school shopping.

Okay, it was raining, I was beginning to go a bit loony and I had Gap returns. Yes, Gap returns. I hate the Gap, but I bought the girls 2 outfits from the Gap because I had coupons. I hate coupons. I hate the Gap. I had to return it all as it kept taunting me from its ugly, cheap, blue plastic bags.

So we went to the Mall. I promised the girls they could each ride 2 rides if 1.) there was no whining the whole day about "shopping" and mommy got to go into a mommy store of her choice and 2.) if they got to ride the rides they had to also go to a mommy restaurant and no fast food would be spoken about and they would have to eat something outside of the tan food group. Yes, at THE Mall of America there is a flippin’ amusement park that sucks the blood and money right out of you, and it even has teenagers dressed as Spongebob walking around looking for photo-ops. We don’t have cable because of him. He makes me want to be a better mom.

I also gave Esther my iphone for the day so she could document our day at the mall. Photo montage brought to you by Esther and her(my) iphone.

Highlight #1 of the day was our lunch at the Nordstrom café. Do any of you have a child who tells you they have to go to the bathroom just 10 seconds before they actually go to the bathroom? Are they crotch holders because they wait until the.very.last.moment? I have one of those children. And it doesn’t matter how much I ask her to go to the bathroom, how many times I physically take her and try to make her go to the bathroom, or how many lectures on GOING TO THE BATHROOM when you first feel the urge to go…she loves to just let me know at the very last second. We enter the Café, we order, we get settled at our table, the girls get all creative on their placements, Astrid wakes/screams and begins to nurse. We are settled-in and starting to relax after 2 hours of Mall wars, amusement park rides and fighting with shoppers from the farm. Our food arrives, we are eating, nursing and enjoying and then BOOM “mom, I have to go to the bathroom – NOW!” Crap.

I grab Esther in one hand literally making her fly out of the booth and in the direction of the potty. I hold nursing Astrid in my other hand and we all start running through the restaurant to the bathroom. It is then that I realized my 6 year old was now sitting by herself in a public restaurant, with my purse. I did not have time to gather Eloise, the stroller and my purse AND let the waiter know that we were coming back. We are coming back…I want to finish my salad. I start comparing scenarios – grab all the shit, Esther pees on the floor…don’t grab the shit, we make it to the potty…will Eloise be okay by herself, will she be kidnapped? I scream over my shoulder to her “you stay put – do NOT talk to anyone, do NOT move, do NOTHING..just sit and eat. Trust NO ONE and watch my purse!” I then yelled to a table of red hat society ladies to keep an eye on the little girl in the corner as her psycho mom, nursing baby and crotch-holding preschooler will be back shortly.

It was also then that I realized that I forgot to pull down the other side of my shirt or fix my bra so I was running through Nordstrom’s café with BOTH of my not so sexy and leaking boobs completely hanging out and bouncing as I ran with a screaming baby trying to keep a latch…and WORSE, with my shirt up I was revealing, my lovely roll of belly fat left over from cute baby belly. Now un-cute fat post-baby belly was totally hanging over my pants and also bouncing as I ran.

We made it to the bathroom, dry, yet sweaty and slightly disturbed…and Eloise was just fine when we returned to our table. My salad rocked.

Highlight #2 Then Eloise made me take her to get her ears pierced. Yay Eloise!

xoxo,t

The Simple Woman's Daybook August 24th...

For Today...August 24, 2009...

Outside my window... The start of a beautiful Monday. Only a few more before school starts and my typical relaxing mornings turn into "holy shit we are going to miss the bus!"

I am thankful for... Amazing new and old friends who stop by and chat with me and hold the baby and play with the girls. Friends rock.

From the kitchen..Believe it or not - I just cooked 5, yes F.I.V.E. nights in a whole roll. Oh, except Thursday when Kari brought us some super yummy treats. Oh, and Betsi provided the rice for last night. But I cooked really - with my oven and stove top on several occasions. AND we have gone to the grocery store more than once. I rock.

I am wearing... A swimsuit cover-up as my pajamas. It works and has easy access as I mostly sleep topless now.

I am reading... Nothing. My reading streak had to come to an end this week so I could focus on writing projects - like announcements, envelopes and thank you notes. The announcements are adorable if I do say so myself.

I am hoping...that if Primo dies this week, the girls will be okay. Our neighbor's Greyhound, Primo is very sick and most likely will die this week. Eloise is of course, devastated. I keep waiting for their call for us to come say goodbye to him. She did say last night that she guesses it will be okay since if he is in heaven, he will be watching over her all of the time just like Grammy Lorraine and Papa Ken. We talked about when our cat, Wilshire died and how it will be the same with Primo. Her response "well, it didn't bother me when Wilshire died because he used to bite me all of the time. Primo is nice." So, note to everyone...don't bite Eloise because she will not miss you when you die.

I am creating... a Fall wardrobe for each of the girls. How sad is that..lol.

Around the house...Donut cat meowing and driving me insane. Seriously i.n.s.a.n.e. Animals are suppose to be so calming to their owners. Donut is not calming. Donut has seriously mental issues and he is making me have seriously mental issues just living with him. OMG make the voices stop.

One of my favorite things... Secret Clinical Strength deodorant. I am so easy to please.

A few plans for the rest of the week... Rest, relax and enjoy the last few weeks of Summer before school. Maybe just hang with the neighbors and enjoy the easy life. No schedules - not a one thing on our calendar. Life is good.

Taken at 1 week old.

To read more Daybook posts or to learn how to participate visit The Simple Woman's Daybook.

One Month Old Today...

..and some mean boy punched her in the face on her first playdate.

I will have to talk to his mom about that. He won't be coming around here no more.

xoxo,t

Even Steven...

Eloise " Hey mom, are we going to have one more kid in this family?"

Me "No sweetie, we are just having the 3 of you, why?"

Eloise "Well all of our games are made for 2 or 4 people. Like what if we want to play Hungry, Hungry Hippos...one of the hippos won't be used?"

Me: "Well I can throw that game away if it bothers you so much." (cuz it annoys the crap out of me...)

Eloise "No, we should keep it, I am just letting you know that you will have to play all games with us to make-up for the missing kid."

I guess we need to teach Donut Cat to play games and ride rides in this even-centric society.
xoxo, t

This is all I think about now...

This is my first baby since the e*trade commercials have been showing on television. Now, every time Astrid "does" anything, I imagine her chatting it up with her baby friends talking about stocks and stuff.


These pictures just basically say "hey, mom I think I am going to puke!"

Just remember sweetie, this will be sooo not attractive in college, especially on a date. Been there.

xoxo,t

Sungazing...

Yes, sun gazing...not stargazing..that nighttime activity is certainly not allowed under Tracy's rules until my kids are at least 10, maybe 13.

My kids have to sun gaze because I make them go to bed by 7pm all year. Yes, even in the Summer. Yes, even on vacation. Yes, even on the 4th of July.

Sometime last year, we were out really late(you know like 8pm) for a school program...when we stepped outside it was dark and the nighttime sky was filled with stars. Eloise looked up in amazement and announced loudly "WOW, I have never seen stars before...AMAZING." I told her to enjoy it as it could be the last time for 5 years. Thankfully Esther was already sleeping in Jed's arms being carried to the car. It was after 7pm after all.

You may call me mean, inflexible, strict or down right freaky with my obsession in getting my kids in bed by 7pm. I am okay and comfortable with all of those terms. We all have our little issues. Also, if you babysit my kids, don't break my rules about bedtime or you will be fired. Really. I am that anal/crazy about it.

I like my kids in bed early because - 1. they need the sleep and 2. i need the break. ..and I don't relax the schedule in the Summers because I don't want to "retrain" them in the Fall. My kids like the schedule I think and they NEVER fight about going to bed, they never get out of bed and they fall asleep immediately.

Sure, they are getting to the age where they wonder why their friends are still playing outside for another 1.5 hours after their bedtime. I wondered they same thing. My brother Troy and I would lie in our bunk beds, in our shared room, in bed at 7pm in the Summer with the sunlight coming through our shades, listening to the kids play on the block..and wonder why it wasn't us. We would fall asleep to these sounds every night. Now I thank my mom for giving me a bedtime until I was 18. Yes, at 18...10pm lights out.

So, until they can enjoy the real stars, sisterly sun gazing will just have to do.
xoxo,t

I wrote a letter to the President yesterday...

Yes, that president, the President of the United States of America. President Obama.

I will blame it on the vicodin. amen.

Have you ever written to the President before? Me either. It was rather simple. You just go here and write. Writing the President is so.not.me. I am actually rather introverted, Minnesota Nice and just let people be and want people to let me be. I did write my congressman once when I was in high school. I bet I even dotted my "i's" with colorful hearts. Bet they took me seriously. I have marched in a few small rallies, I have escorted for Choice at Planned Parenthood and I have routed a petition now and then. But for the most part, I just hang-out and live my life and shop too much.

Now, who knows if he will write me back. I see on the website that he gets 10's of thousands of letters a day. Do you think so? Or do they just say that to be cool? It's like me saying I get 500 comments on my blog per day, but I just don't publish them because I don't want to seem so cool. But I was impressed that there is no limit on how many words I could put in my email. I wrote forever and it never stopped me! Now, when I write ebay, they only allow me like 300 characters because they like to play god and act like they rule the free World. ebay sucks.

As I was writing to him, I also thought about asking First Lady Michelle to join a Boutique clothing board I belong to, but would that be stalker-ish. Perhaps.

As I was writing, I also wondered if there was this whole security task force set-up to hunt down the "writers" and follow us to see if we are psycho or a security threat. When I take my kids for a walk, will I see agents jumping behind bushes talking to each other about my whereabouts and behaviors? Will my phones be tapped? Am I still delusional and think W is still in the White House? These are the things I think about sometimes.

So, I included a link to my blog in my note...yes, really I did, so he could check me out and see that I was relatively normal and pretty much just a mom. Then I thought, oh crap, he will see my leaking nipples, he will see that I don't go to church, he will see me use the "f" word. Maybe that is not all that good. But, if he goes back to the post on election day November 2008, he will see that Esther voted for him as well as Al Franken...so perhaps this will make up for my nipples?

So I wrote to him about health care. I posted last week that I received a bill from the hospital for a $5000 nursery stay for Astrid even though SHE NEVER LEFT MY ROOM - I cared for her and nursed her solely. Why should I pay? So, I called the billing office and talked to the supervisor and received the answer "well, everyone pays for the nursery whether you use it or not." So, I found the hospital administrators number and left him a message also. I used the analogy of taking a cruise with a kids club on it. At the end of the cruise I was charged for the kids club...even though I did not use it, because everyone who comes on the cruise with kids is charged for it whether they use it or not. Would I pay it? NO. I would fight the charge. So, why don't more of us fight our medical charges? I do because I pay out of pocket. We pay about $15,000 per year for our private medical premiums and deductibles. So, I do care about every dollar on our bills. And maybe it is not that I am mad because I was charged for something I didn't use - because I know you all are like, OH MY GOD she is turning into a republican, I just want to know why it costs $1250 per night for a hospital nursery bed? That is crazy and I want to know how our medical costs have gotten so high. I want to know why I get angry every time I see a prescription drug ad on T.V. I pretty much have seen enough 60 year old naked couples sitting in bathtubs on the beach talking about their erectile dysfunction to last me a lifetime thankyouverymuch.

So I wrote to him to let him know that I am glad he is doing SOMETHING because it is a crisis and needs be solved. Do I think he is right about everything, even though I voted for him? NO. But something needs to be done about the cost and conscious of health care in this country. So I wrote to him.

Tomorrow I promise to talk about shopping.
xoxo,t

The Simple Woman's Daybook August 17, 2009

For Today...August 17, 2009...

Outside my window... Darkness and a cool morning. Fall is coming and I am so glad. I am not a good Summer person. Give me cold and snow any day over heat and humidity.

I am thankful for... my big girls and the way they love and care for their baby sister. They are such lovely little girls and I am so proud of them.

From the kitchen..I braved the grocery store this weekend with all 3 kids. I think I will actually cook a few meals this week. Eloise and I made homemade zucchini bread yesterday with zucchini fresh from my mom's garden. It is heavenly.

I am wearing... A milk stained t-shirt and sweats. I am really way to sexy for my shirt right now.

I am reading... I had to quit reading The Shack, by William P. Young. It was causing me to be WAY TOO DEPRESSED. I understand the book is really about this guys relationship with God and finding peace and understanding, and having us take a fresh look at our stereotypes are about God, Jesus, etc..which for me would be a great read because as you may know from knowing me or reading my blog, I am not a big fan of church..no matter how much I believe in God or what I have faith in...but I could not get past the tragedy that happens in the beginning of the book. I will try to read it in 20 years when I don't have young children perhaps.

I am hoping... to get my office/paperwork/ebay/Matilda Jane/school papers/bills - ALL organized this week. It is a pit.

I am creating... the birth announcement...is it too late to send one now?

Around the house...starting the transition from Summer closets to Fall closets and finding a place for baby's wardrobe since the girls all have to share now. Does the baby really need a wardrobe yet?

One of my favorite things... watching Eloise sit in a chair, all curled up and reading CHAPTER books to herself for hours. Oh my I am in serious love with this child. I love that she LOVES to read. She is so ready for 1st grade.

A few plans for the rest of the week... Cleaning house, some play-dates, trips to the park, thank you notes finished.

Here is a picture that I am sharing with you... taken her first few days - I am so sad that at 3.5 weeks she has grown so much. I am savoring every minute here while she is so little.

To read more Daybook posts or to learn how to participate visit The Simple Woman's Daybook.

Bye Grammy...

We probably won't see you again until she is walking. Not to give you any illusion of guilt or anything, as I know that is usually reserved for Grandparents and Catholics.
Love you!
xoxo,t

I am pretty sure...

....it was an ugly, childless old man who decided that our schools shouldn't start until after Labor Day. Or perhaps he was a bitter Republican politician. Or perhaps it was our old governor, Jesse. But no matter. I am ready for school to start.

Really. I can honestly say I am one of those moms who thinks that year-round school with no breaks would be a good thing for our nation. My kids have been off since BEFORE Memorial day and don't go back until AFTER Labor Day.

I will now refer to this period as the ENDLESS SUMMER.

Maybe I just have a hard time being a kid and letting things slide, just having fun and having a lazy Summer of water, sand and popsicles.

Seriously, at this point I would rather stick an ice pick in my eye than go to the pool again or another playground. I really need to lighten up.

So, to fill my time(when I am not nursing a newborn, shipping ebay back to school sales or planning Matilda Jane Fall or of course, doing all of my homemaker duties), we are getting prepared for school.

Doctor visits and up to date immunizations - check.
School supplies purchased - almost done check.
Back to school clothing shopping - the packages are starting to arrive...thank God for online shopping.(please delight and ooh and aah about Eloise in her new Misha Lulu for school).
Dentist visit for cleaning - check.

Eloise is starting first grade this year and has yet to loose a tooth. Turns out she has TWO loose ones now. She is working hard to wiggle those suckers out before school starts. I need to find out the going rate of the tooth fairy.

So, as we enter the FINAL 3 weeks(omg 3 weeks still) of our ENDLESS SUMMER, think of me and pour me a margarita to get me through.

xoxo,t

Random Ramblings...

Many exciting and important things have happened this week. I just thought you might want to know about them. (just my assumption here since you are actually reading my blog).

First and foremost, I got a haircut and color. I know, crazy right? I was so gray and my end were so bad. But, what is really important about this is that my stylist makes HOUSE CALLS!!! Yes, it's true...AND he's a man and he rides a motorcycle here. With the birth of each of my girls, Dan Dan the haircut Man(named by my kids) rides over and does my hair for me. All it takes is a bottle of his favorite beer waiting and some cheap peeks at a nursing mom and her huge ta-ta's. I am easy that way if it means I get a cut and color at home and don't have to drag 3 kids with me. He also makes house calls for the girls first haircuts...here is Miss Esther 3.5 years ago with Dan in our kitchen.

Secondly, I now know the difference between a good friend and a great friend. A good friend(well really good) brings you a latte and scone over to your home yesterday morning. An AMAZINGLY great friend brings you a latte and a scone AND a bag of school supplies for the girls so you don't have to brave Target AND a box of sanitary pads for you because you are still bleeding to beat the band and would rather stuff a roll of TP in your undies than drag 3 kids to Target. Thank you once again Kristi.

Thirdly, Astrid's belly button fell off. Since she is officially my last baby...I held the belly button and really thought about taping it in her baby book(if I actually had a baby book, which I haven't purchased yet), but thought better of my psycho self and threw the thing away. Please don't tell me you are one of "those" that saves belly buttons? ew.

Fourthly, I received my first hospital bill for the birth yesterday. Oh lucky day!!!! How I lurve hospital bills. Anywho - it was Astrid's nursery charges - so yes, this is the bill for her being IN the nursery only. Turns out it costs $1200 per night for a newborn in the hospital nursery. This did not include any doctor or lab charges...JUST NURSERY. Funny thing is that SHE NEVER WENT TO THE FLIPPING NURSERY THE WHOLE FLIPPING TIME SHE WAS IN THE HOSPITAL. She stayed in my room THE WHOLE TIME. She never ever SAW the nursery or SAW a nursery nurse. Why the hell do I have to pay them? Sure, send me a doctor bill for $13,000 for the 20 seconds she saw a doctor each of the days and sure send me a lab bill for $8000 for the 2 times she had blood drawn...but a nursery bill? Okay, I guess she did use about 6 of THEIR diapers a day - but $5000 for 24 diapers and some crappy wipes. Bite me.

Fifthly, I joined Twitter this week. Now why I don't know? Do I really think I am going to tweet at you every 10 minutes to let you know if I am on the potty or picking my nose when I currently only update my Facebook twice per month. Probably not.

Lastly, I went off vicodin cold turkey on Monday. Now that really sucks.

xoxo,t

How in the World...

...could I make such a rookie mistake?

I was all the rage at Nordstroms looking like this.

Note to self: "wear only black shirts for the next year."

xoxo,t

In Daddy's Hands...

The Simple Woman's Daybook, August 10th

For Today,August 10,2009...

Outside my window... Birds singing, heat and humidity building.

I am thankful for... a lovely weekend in Duluth with family.

From the kitchen...a grocery shopping list for the week. We are home alone, no visitors, no meals being brought in. Back to some "normalcy" and eating cheerios for breakfast.

I am wearing... The greatest nursing nightgown ever made from bamboo from Belabumbum. OMG amazingly soft and makes my rack look rockin'. Astrid loves it.

I am reading... The Shack, by William P. Young

I am hoping... For peace and support and love for fellow blogger Elden a.k.a Fatty from Fatcyclist.com who lost his wife to cancer last week. The funeral is today and I am thinking about him and their 4 kids during this time.

I am creating...thank you notes and the birth announcement.

Around the house...unpacking to do, the never ending laundry to put away.

One of my favorite things... having my new baby really look at me. Did I tell you I was in love?

A few plans for the rest of the week... Dentist visits for all of us, paperwork for school, bills to pay, visits to the pool.

Here is a picture that I am sharing with you... a rare photo of all of us.

To read more Daybook posts or to learn how to participate visit The Simple Woman's Daybook.

See you soon by sweet baboon...

Grammy and Papa are here, so we are off to Duluth for a few days to introduce Astrid to family. I skipped my happy pills this morning so I can drive safely there. Damn.

Oh so I wish Astrid could meet her Grammy Lorraine. Oh how I miss her. I am so glad that Eloise and Esther knew her.

Duluth and going home just never feels the same without her there.

See you Monday.
xoxo,t

Kewl Sheet...

I want to share with you some of my favorite things that Astrid and I received in the hospital.

Seriously, how cool is this diaper cake??? Thank you to my SIL, Amy D. LOVE it and very useful! As a mom who hadn't purchased any diapers yet - this cake rocked my world and did not add to my muffin top that I now have post-pregnancy. Sweet. Only thing I would change is I would burn the pacifier. They are from the devil I tell ya and I avoid them at all costs.

Okay, how about this bracelet that Kristi MADE for me - hand stamped with my 3 girls initials and their birthstones. Thank you for staying up until 3am to make this for me. I love you. Will you marry me when our husbands die and we become lesbians? Anyway...

Okay - so now that I have 3 kids, I decided it was finally time to drop by Playgirl subscription, so thankfully I received this bit of porn from my good friend Tiernee instead to help me pass the time, and get orgasmic over motherhood instead of men.

Yeah right, like mine would ever do that? My husband evidently likes his wife bitchy, nagging, hormonal, wearing horns when he enters the room, and just plain evil since he brought me nothing to the hospital.

xoxo,t