Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Astrid 7 months...


I did it today...I left my baby.

That is a VERY big deal for me. I am rather psycho when it comes to my babies. I never leave them. Ever. I nurse exclusively, stress about pumping and fret when I am away - even to Target for a 1/2 hour. I left Esther for the first time when she was 11 month old...for 6 hours and it was awful.

So, I was a wreck about leaving Astrid for 3 hours today at 7 months. My breasts ached the whole time I was without her. Too much information? Too bad.

The separation was painful for me.

Why am I so strange? I see other moms going out for lunches and dinners and off to work...perhaps even away for a weekend. I physically ache thinking about being away from my babies until they are at least a year old. Ache.

Help me here. Do you enjoy your time away? Do your fret about it? Do you think they should live at home until they are 35? Do you think I am crazy? Do you think I smell?
xoxo,t

16 comments:

The Planet Pink said...

Oh girl, it doesn't matter what other mamas feel like. YOU ache. Don't apologize for it. Hugs.

Amanda M. said...

I am EXACTLY like you.
I read a FB post the other night from a friend who said she was SO excited to take not one, but TWO vacations soon. Vacations AWAY from her 14-month-old baby. (And this person is a FTWM.) I about fainted. I do NOT judge her, I just do.not.get.that.
My littlest is nearly five. And I've never been away from her for more than a few hours. I guess I'm a little obsessive perhaps even beyond babyhood. ;)

Amanda M. said...

PS. I love that pic. I love her cheeks. And if she were mine, I do think I'd spend most of the day kissing her sweet cheeks.

Jaci said...

I get you! I planned to go back to work FT after Natalie was born. I did (when she was 3 months old) and by the time she was 6 months old I had quit my job to be a SAHM (after 3 months of driving to work in tears every day). When Andrew was born, I never left him. Well, one time for a few hours when he was 6 months old, but he wouldn't take a bottle to save his life and the screaming kinda got to my mom who refused to watch him again until he was fully sustainable on table foods. LOL! Even now, at ages 7 and (almost) 5 I miss them when they are away at grandma & grandpa's house for 1 night. So you are not strange. And I don't know if you smell or not.....

Heather - Hopelessly Flawed said...

I am the same way. I never even used a breastpump because I never needed to - I never left them!

Angela Elle Photography said...

Well now, you guys are all making me feel bad because I cherish and NEED my time away from my kids. I love them with all my heart but I need some time without having to be mom every now and then. It doesn't happen often but when it does, I feel refreshed.

I have leaving them for the first time for an extended period coming up in 2 weeks and I will admit I'm a little stressed about that. I'm more stressed about how my husband will handle it because I do everything! I'm pretty sure they'll live on frozen pizza and wear the same clothes every day. :)

AFC said...

Funny you blogged about this..my husband and I were just talking about this last night. We have friends who are leaving their three little kids (4, 2 and baby) and going to Vegas for a week.. I couldn't do it. I would cry, pout and worry the whole time. We are leaving for FL on Saturday for a week WITH them and I can't wait. I have already convinced Hayley to commute to college..hehehe

Kristi Pohl said...

Being the parent of a twelve year old boy, I cherish my time to myself-and I know it's good that he doesn't need me so much anymore. I too gave up my career to be a stay-at-home mom, and for me it was the best decision. I think that whatever mommas need to do, is what they need to do without judgment from anyone.

Missing you this week!

Michelle said...

I was exactly the same way. I have a photo of t he first time I left Gabe (2 hours at 11 months) and he was my fifth child! I think some of us are just wired differently.

Kimberly said...

My Alexa will be 7 months on Monday, and even though I work long days and I am gone 12 hours 4 days a week I can still relate. My husband doesn't get why I don't ever leave her on the weekend. I am very jealous that you have not had to leave her until she was 7 months, I went back to work at 7 weeks and I think part of me will always long for that time back. I get way too jealous of anyone with more mat leave or SAHM's.

Jen said...

LOL
Well, I do have to say that I am one of those moms who relishes my time away from my kids, even Sydney, who is 9 months old. I've always been a person who enjoys time by myself, and that hasn't changed since I've become a mom. I truly, truly am so happy to come home to them after a little break/"me time" though :)

Rachelle said...

I feel the same way as you! I did enjoy short trips to Target by myself when I had babies, but never overnight without them. Why go when you'd be miserable thinking about them the whole time? I don't think I would have been able to be a working mom, I would have been a wreck. True, we are all wired differently.

Tracy said...

I really appreciate everyone weighing in on this. Kimberly, I went back to work full-time after my first baby and I hurt daily...daily. I got 3 speeding tickets before she turned 1 - all for rushing from work to pick her up at daycare. I am so blessed to be able to stay home now. I never thought that would even be a choice I would make as I loved to work...but am lucky to have that choice.
Hugs to all you moms.
xoxo,t

Vann and Amanda said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amanda said...

i'm one who needs the time away. my husband has a work trip every year around this time and the first time we went (to hawaii) my first was 5 months old. i didn't nurse her, so i didn't have to make a decision about pumping, etc., but i needed that time and since she was with my mom and dad i knew that she was in amazing hands. this year, my first (charlie) is 2 1/2 and my second (ella) is almost 4 months old. i nursed her for 3 months. we are going to arizona in a week and i am unbelievably excited to have a full week to recharge. my husband will be working and although we'll be together in the evenings (looking forward to some great couple time), i have most of my days free and am going to read, sleep in, work out, lay out by the pool, eat, and shop. if i didn't have this trip to look forward to, these last few months would have been even harder for me. however, i will miss my girls terribly. i think though, i'll be a better mommy when i return. :)

Tina said...

You don't smell from here! :0p But I do NOT think you are crazy!!! I didn't leave my oldest til she was 20 months old...and that was an overnighter in the hospital to give birth to her sister! At 4 & 5.5...they recently had their 1st overnighter with the grandparents. They had a blast! I misse them!
Since my "baby" turned 2 I have been a regular at moms night out every month & this past year we started a bunco group that also takes me out another saturday a month. But They are home with daddy...and pretty much sleep while I'm gone, anyways.
They are MINE the 1st year, though! :0) ALLL MINE!!!

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