Monday, December 21, 2009

About Me Today...


They say it is my birthday on Tuesday. I have never spent much time celebrating my birthday and was slightly embarrassed when I moved to the Netherlands and found out how much the Dutch LOVE birthdays. I mean really LOVE birthdays. I was amazed. People came out of the woodwork giving me 3 kisses(gotta love the Dutch for making it 3 kisses instead of 2) and singing Lang zal ze leven to me. They would wish me Hartelijk gefeliciteerd - and heck they would even congratulate me on my Mother's birthday. If you want to celebrate your birthday, go to Holland.

So, in the past 10 years I have been trying to make more of an effort to appreciate a good birthday. Kids help. I still am incredibly embarrassed having attention focused at me though. Parties scare me and singing even more.

I have truthfully been dreading this birthday. Turning 40 is turning 40 - a milestone, a celebration, a new decade of being 40 and fabulous. Turning 41 is just well...turning 41 and accepting the fact that I am in my 40's now and the hoopla is over. Turning 41 and being a mom of an infant is even more mind blowing..and tiring. I sometimes think my Grandma is laughing at me from heaven and thinking "my word - I was a grandmother of TWO at your age..what are you thinking??"

Sure 40 is the new 30 and all that jazz, but it doesn't remove my wrinkles or color my gray hair, tighten my changing skin or remove the cellulite on my thighs. I see myself now as 2 generations away from kids and how it is harder to relate or even recognize myself in the young coeds in our neighborhood. I don't look like them anymore, even though I may feel like one of them. Most of them see me as their mom and sometimes when I have Astrid out for a walk if they wonder if I am her grandma.

It's weird getting older. Not bad. Just weird. I still feel 17 even if no one else sees me that way.
xoxo, t

10 comments:

Melanie said...

Happy Birthday Girl! I hope that you do enjoy a day celebrating you & having a baby at 40 & being a GREAT mom & so much more! You are a lovely person!
And I totally get what you are saying...I still relate (in my mind) to teenagers like it was just yesterday that I was in their shoes...but they call me Mrs. & Ma'am & stuff which tells me they clearly don't see me that way!

Rachelle said...

Happy birthday to you! You are one hot 41 yr. old, that is obvious. You lived in Holland?... cool beyond words. Love this photo of Esther in her great outfit, but where is a photo of YOU? You are the star tomorrow... I hope you are pampered!

Ginny said...

Happy Birthday to you and remembering that special day you came into the world. You have become the person I had hoped you would be - caring, creative, funny and beautiful inside and out. Wishing you a wonderful day. Treat yourself to something special today. Love YOU, Mom

Jaci said...

Have a very happy birthday Tracy!

Izzy'sMom said...

Happy Birthday Tracy! I hope you have a wonderful birthday!! Even if you don't like all of the attention, at least make sure to enjoy a good (make that GREAT) bottle of wine! :o)

Stacey said...

Cheers to you on your 41st !!! I say treat yourself to the matching Louis wallet!

kari said...

happy birthday darlin friend of mine! hope you have a pause at some point today and can take in how adored you are....you are a fabulous woman! Looking forward to some time with you in the new year. Cheers:)

Sahnya said...

ah.... it is a great day to celebrate! Happy Birthday Tracy! Enjoy, savor, nap, and drink bubbly!

Jill R said...

My best advise to you...don't look in the mirror and you can be any age you feel like!

Happy birthday, wish I was turning just 41, you kid.

Tracy said...

Happy Birthday! And can I say, I know what you mean. I'm two weeks from 42 and get it. As for you - you rock at 41, or er, should I say 17!

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