Wednesday, December 30, 2009
The Best Present I Never Got...
Yesterday, Jed brought a paper grocery bag up to the bedroom. When he came downstairs, there was white boxed item with a red bow around it inside the covert bag.
"What's that?" I asked.
"Nothing" he replied, "just some Christmas returns."
I continued "But what is the white box that hasn't been opened?"
"Nothing" he replied again "Just a shirt I am returning."
"Unopened? - that is strange - how do you know it's a shirt?" I prodded some more.
He shouted "Fine, it's a MacBook that I bought for you for Christmas that you don't want so I am taking it back."
And he stormed out of the house.
I stared into my coffee and wondered what the cotton pickin F that was all about.
What MacBook? Did I open a MacBook and not realize it, and upon opening the MacBook scream "holy shit, why did you buy me this piece of garbage? Return it immediately!" Did I say that? Had I ever seen said MacBook?
I was mystified by this scene that just took place in my home.
I am not completely sure WHY he bought me the MacBook, WHY it was never presented to me on Christmas, WHY it was returned after Christmas while being cleverly disguised in a grocery bag, or WHY this exchange ever took place that is now killing me slowly.
This is my life.
Turns out that I have casually said to him that I don't really need a new computer. Well of course I don't really "need" a new computer. Mine is only 8 years old, I have to whack the screen for it to appear every 10 minutes or so, I have to squint and tilt it just so to see it and only 5-6 letters stick on the keyboard. But it is just fine.
Of course it's fine, I am a woman and everything is "just fine." I am that Mom who has lost a leg, my arm is dangling off, my eye is squirting out blood, I am having a stroke, my teeth are falling out and I say "oh I am just fine dear, it's just a little cold coming on ..let me fix you a little snack"..and while doing that I vacuum a bit on my way to the kitchen and I throw a load of laundry in, AND I have a baby hanging off my boob...but everything is just FINE just like my computer. All the while my husband is scratching his balls, thinking he has a sniffle and should probably go up to bed to rest a bit before it gets too bad.
This is my life.
Posted by Tracy at 7:22 PM