I would like to start by saying that I appreciate your challenging curriculum for my daughter, as I want to start this note as passive aggressively as I can and butter you up before I tell you how much you suck.
Her first report card was so wonderful and just about perfect except where you said that "she needs to work on her presentation skills." I beg to differ. She is in first grade and I really don't care about her presentation skills nor will I make her practice.
Now I know that it is our fault for signing her up for the gifted and talented program and all, and I know she is brilliant. In fact just yesterday when I left her for a few moments by my running car, I came back to find her behind my car breathing in the "pretty smoke" - brilliant I tell ya and gifted on top of that.
When other parents at this school share about 6 year old Johny's 5th grade math brilliance, I first throw up in my mouth because I don't care, and I don't share her 6th grade reading ability - I share the exhaust story...because that is FUNNY and I really don't like talking about my kid in a gifted way. That is weird and wrong.
So, first grade, when we received in December, the "Culture Heritage" project that said:
"Research and write a report and prepare a 10 minute presentation about something special about your ancestry, a family custom or story. Be creative and make sure the student does the research and writing."
..I became unglued. First Grade??? Research? Report? Presentation??? And furthermore, I can appreciate her fellow classmates that are 2nd and even 1st generation Americans and I want to listen to their reports...but for us mutts with kids who have like 14 countries of origin, I am grasping at straws here to get 10 minutes of interesting content. But why should I worry, it is not like I have to do the work or anything.
"We" chose Scotland as that is where we were married and we both have some Scottish back there...but really we are no more Scottish than the Pope is Chinese. Really.
This is pretty much how the student directed report went:
Me "Okay Eloise, here are some Countries and family stories that you can choose from to write about.."
Eloise "How long is this going to take?"
Me "Until we are done. I was thinking about Scotland and you can talk about your last name and when your parents were married."
Eloise "Do you think I will have time to still ice skate today?"
Me "So, here is how I am thinking we will assemble the poster board."
Eloise "Can Esther do the gluing?"
Skipping to the end of a LONG day...
Me "Now I have all of the content prepared - you just need to finish assembling the poster board, copy what I have written in your own script and practice and learn what I did here."
Eloise "Why does Morrison have 2 r's. Is the 2nd one really necessary?"
In conclusion, First Grade, as much as I appreciated this lesson and all, and in as much as I know my child is brilliant and in as much as I know that we signed up for this, it sucks and they are NOT ready for this and as a parent - I went to school already and I don't want to spend my Sundays doing this when there is a perfectly good ice rink out back for me to perfect my waltz jump. Olympic trials are coming soon.
Warmly in brilliance,