Do you have those bugs where you live? You know the hairy centipede thingamajigs with the 10,000 legs. They usually hang out in the bathroom or laundry room? I would post a picture for your reference, but doing so would make me vomit to look at it again, so I will spare you.
My morning started as so...
...I took off my clothes and sat on the potty, started the shower(you know because it is Earth Week and I wanted to waste water for 3 minutes to get it nice and hot..), grabbed for the roll of toilet paper and one of those bugs was SITTING ON THE TOILET PAPER - and I TOUCHED it - and then freaked and fell off of the toilet and onto the floor, hitting my head on the sink on my way down(we have a freakishly small bathroom) - but then the sucker - after also flying through the air - landed on the floor right next to me, so I SCREAMED and then managed to launch myself into the air to avoid touching it again as it started scurrying towards me. (mind you again that I am totally naked) On my way back into the air I hit my back on the radiator and my knee on the toilet(mind you also that I have yet to wipe), and manage to open the bathroom door to land in the hallway - the place I will now call the "centipede safe zone".
I quickly slammed the bathroom door shut to somehow contain the bug, hugged my knees, sobbed - naked and still unwiped in the hallway.
This was all before 5:30 this morning.
So how is your Monday going?
xoxo,t
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8 comments:
oh dear. that is a bad start to the day. were i naked and trying to escape a bug, i'd totally be afraid it was going to um, get a little too intimate with me! ew!! what a way to start the day. i say with much confidence--things can only get better.
My life is changed forever now....I'll never wipe in the dark again, one never knows what's lurking on the toilet paper roll. YIKES!
My Monday is going really well so far. Sophia had a "Better than B's" breakfast at school and we made it by 7:20 (no small feat since we need to leave the house by 7:00). I'm just waiting for the well drillers to show up later today. Yesterday however is another story, my son had an ATV accident ending up in the ER with a fractured hand :-S
Oh my goodness, I'm laughing out loud. Sorry, but this is a Lucille Ball type of moment. I HATE centipedes and freak out if I see one. They move too much like snakes for me. I really do feel your pain, but you write it so funny...
I too have have had long legged centipede injuries, but no story quite as entertaining (in a horror movie way) as yours!
They are the ultimate in gross - sneaky, creepy, and zippity fast. I shiver thinking about them. Maybe it is time to move to Oregon - no sighting so far here.
You had me at Potty! I thought I knew what bug you were writing about, but our Canadian centipedes don't generally fly. I would have found myself in the hallway too, no shame in it. Bugs create an irrational fear over here at Bungalow'56. It drives our farm boy Agronomist crazy.
Dana
Can't you sick Donut on them?
Hope your day improved after that....(how could it not?)
Ya, well, I can top that. I have those things in the house now, but when I was in college we lived in a creepy Victorian house. That place was filled with them. I would wake up and LEGS, yes, only the legs would be left scattered all over my pillow. I shutter to think where those things crawled while I slept.
YES!!! tracy, we live in chicago and i've had 4 sightings the past month, one being a huge one that charlie discovered crawling right next to her crib!! they are disgusting and i scream every time, and man, they are fast!!!!! i feel your pain!
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